You’re exactly Who You Think You Are

Last week one of my friends, Harri, from middle school DM’ed me, letting me know that he and his dad were recently talking about a play we did back then called “Almost, Grease”. It was our school’s interpretations (and PG version!) of the iconic film. Which happens to be one of my absolute favorite movies.

His dad recorded the whole thing and Harri was so sweet enough to share it with me for a little nostalgia.

Now, I want to let you know that 6th grade Aisha isn’t what you may expect. I didn’t have contact lenses yet, I was shy, insecure, often the butt of jokes in my friend group, short! (this was before my growth spurt, ha!) Coupled with a pretty tumultuous home/family life I dealt with privately that took a toll on my self-esteem and anxiety.

Despite it, I’d still push myself to do things that scared me. I’ve always had that in me. And although I was extremely nervous, I auditioned for a few school plays. I never got a speaking role, and was generally in the ensemble cast, but I did it anyway.

In this particular play, I was one of the school cheerleaders and we opened the show with a song a light dance number.

Watching it back, I got so excited at first to see a glimpse of myself in motion from that age, but quickly that excitement turned to sadness. As I watched my 11 year-old self shyly sing with my head down almost the entire time. I was visibly nervous and although I remember this about myself, seeing it was a little hard.

Until I thought back to the countless journal entries, poetry, short stories I’d write, and daydreams I had about who I wanted to be and knew I would be in the future. And guess what? I ended up being That girl.

I blossomed into every single thing I said I would be, despite it all. I may not have been the most confident cheerleader in “Almost, Grease.” But in life? I’ve always cheered myself on, even in the darkest of times. And it’s paid off in a major way. It’s a beautiful thing to see that who I am now exactly who I believed myself to be—and then some.

xo, Aisha Beau